Three Thousand Miles Away

Three thousand miles away
I yearn for you
You capture my attention
No matter what I do
In every little thing you say
And all I want to do is be a part of you
Have a part of you
Touch a part of you
Smell a part of you
But I can’t
Because you’re three thousand miles away.
But he can
He’s there, with you, in the flesh
He can touch you,
See you
Feel you
In ways I can’t
Because I’m three thousand miles away.
And I just want you to be happy
I really do
But I can’t help it
That it tears me apart
When you say what little contact we have
Is too much at times.
I know I can be overbearing
I know I can be too intense
And I know I overanalyze
DAMN do I overanalyze everything
I cannot help it
It is who I am, what I do,
With these eyes,
I will see even the smallest things,
And with this mind,
I will put together pieces not there.
And when I see it, when I see that he gets to touch, feel, see, and smell you
When I do not,
I cannot help but burn a little inside.
I’m not asking for much.
I want you to be happy
I want you to sing
But I also want just a little piece of you
Just a little piece of your time
A little piece of your affection.
It’s not much
At least I hope it’s not.
But here I am
Three thousand fucking miles away
And I still can’t help but feel guilty
For wanting even that much
For feeling burned inside like I do
For taking away from your happiness
For placing my pain upon yours.
And still.
I love you.
And that will never change.
Three thousand miles
Or ten thousand.
Or none at all.

Disclaimer: No, my loved one is not cheating on me. This poem is not about that at all. It is more touching on the frustrations of dealing with a long distance polyamourous relationship. As it indicates, I am well aware of her other lover, and am okay with her seeing him. She has my blessings in that as I want her to be happy.